It’s been a rough start this school year.
When school ended in May, I had 2.5 months off with my kids. The days filled mostly with late morning breakfasts, swimming, gym-time, and eating frozen yogurt on the regular. Then BAM– August hit, and I was back in the saddle with full-time adulting. TA work, PhD Homework, dinner preps, early mornings, and all the food packing issues are now daily demands.
If I am being honest, some of the first things I wanted to ditch was this blog and the half-marathon training. I mean, who really wants to read this blog anyway? Who would notice if I decided to quit running? Would it really matter? Perhaps, it’s even wise to quit- you know? Rest. Present over perfect. Blah. Blah. Blah.
Turns out, I can totally quit if I want to, but here’s the thing- I don’t. I made a commitment to myself to consistently run and write. Not for achievement sake, but to attempt something I knew I may NOT do incredibly well, on purpose, and to give myself the grace to do it anyway. To ENJOY it. After all, I chose these tasks because they bring me joy and clarity in my often too hectic world. The publication of these efforts? I mean, I could totally write and not have a blog. Still, because I work from home and my regular conversations are with two really cute but verbally non-responsive dogs, I crave community and connection.
I absolutely love that I have an online community of like-minded people who are always on a journey to live well. So, it is here, that I share these tiny offerings of noticing, with the hope that we might connect on some level and encourage one another.
More on quitting.
Last Sunday, we headed out for an 8-mile run. The weather was awesome, and the run was good. We made it to mile 7 and then I stopped. At that moment, I realized that resting is okay and it is not the same as quitting. This may seem over-simplified and obvious to some, but for me, I am historically an all or nothing kind of player. I’m a rule follower and have Achiever in my Top Five Gallup Strengths. Still, I am discovering that I have the freedom to change the rules at any time and that I set my own bar for achievement- especially in tasks like running for fun for Pete’s sake!
This Sunday, I ran 2 miles. My body was achy, my mind scattered, and my day too full. So, I rested, oiled, and nourished my very tired self.
But I ran! I set the pace.
Today, my noticing is that resting is better than quitting. My reasons are still formulating. One that is clear is that I have kept a commitment to myself. It dawned on me, when life got busy the first thing I was tempted to put down, were things I had promised myself. The more I live, the more I realize how valuable the commitments I make to myself are, and how these commitments directly impact who I want to become. In contrast, I don’t want to happen upon a life that chaos brought forth. I’ve had both, and I undoubtedly prefer the life I choose.
So, this week I encourage you to keep going. Rest; don’t quit. You can do this!
Live a life you love.